Scrooge McDuck is a Guys’ Guy


So we are standing in front of the counter at our local cafeteria and our female co-worker is ready to pay for her sandwich. She pulls out her purse and extracts a couple of bills and a bunch of change.

“What are you doing?” says our male colleague, as she starts counting a pile of quarters, dimes and other coins.

“Getting rid of all this change,” she says.

“Oh, my goodness!” he exclaims, horrified. “You are planning on paying for your sandwich with all those coins?”

“Of course!” she replies. “What else am I going to do with them?”

“I don’t know” he says. “It’s just that I think it’s a lot of change.”

“It’s a girl thing,” I tell him. “Just like hoarding coins in some obscure place in the home is a guy thing.”

“It is not” he says. “Guys just don’t carry change.”

“Oh, but it is!” I reply. “The reason guys don’t carry change is because the first thing they do as soon as they get home is to toss the change in the first convenient place they find. Tell me, what kind of guy are you? Bowl, box, tray, piggy bank or pickle jar?”

He looks at me sheepishly and mutters: “Tray . . .”

“See? It’s a guy thing.”

And that is one of the biggest differences between guys and girls. Ladies tend to spend the change. No point in having it sitting in your purse. If you are ever standing in line at the supermarket and it’s taking forever because someone is counting change to pay for the groceries, chances are it’s a girl.

On the other hand, if you enter a home and you stub your toe with a big, hunking pickle jar full of pennies, it’s a dead giveaway that a guy lives there. And no, buying them a coin sorter is not going to solve the problem. Chances are they will fill the sorter with change and then move into another container to keep on hoarding change.

Don’t even try to fight it.

It’s a guy thing.

Do you remember Scrooge McDuck swimming in coins inside his money vault?

Do you think that he got all those coins by investing in the stock market?

Not very likely. I am positive that he just kept tossing coins in there until he could literally swim in them.

Scrooge McDuck. The ultimate guy’s guy.

But if I were his wife, I would have had a pipeline installed from his vault into the next Coinstar, after which I would go to the supermarket and have fun holding the line while paying with pennies.

And then I would cackle maniacally.

Oh yes, yes I would.

What can I say?

A girl is entitled to dream . . .

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